Dear Bill,
Tonight I went to the first meeting of a dumpster diving co-op that I and some of my housemates, your tenants, are joining. It was fun. I learned a lot, and had some laughs too. I'm excited to see how it goes, and also to hang out some with all these new wonderful people, all of whom I have crushes on.
Anyway, afterwards I came home and went on the internet to show Sam some website about dumpsters, but the website wasn't there. And then--you know how it goes--one thing led to another, and we wound up on craigslist, where I saw this:

Free White Tower Restaurant Neon sign, circa 1950's 8'x 18' formerly part of the Baltimore City Life Museum.

Now, my dad used to run the City Life Museums, and I remember when they acquired that old hunk of light and metal. Immediately I thought, "I want it." But then I read it again and realized an apostrophe behind a number means feet, not inches. I don't know what I was thinking, cause I've seen the thing before. I know it's huge, but, you know how when you're little, things seem bigger than they are. Maybe I thought it was like that. Anyway, I was disappointed. I mean, I'd drag that thing out of a dumpster any day, if I had the means to do it. But I don't. So.
The thing is, Bill, I want to see it go to a good home. And I was thinking, maybe C.C. wants it. We could hold it for him on our side porch, and he could pick it up whenever he's ready to, no sweat. I think I speak for everyone when I say, "It'd be our pleasure."
Sometimes quotation marks mean inches, but that time it meant that I just said that out loud. That's how serious I am. I'm talking to my computer. Just mention it to him, Bill, all right? It's the least you could do.
I mean, think about that. 8' by 18'. You musta been able to see it from miles away!
Much love to you and your pets,
JD